


Legal Cannabis, A Politically Active Goalie and Another Year Keeping Score

by rosevest



Series: Tales From the Penalty Box [3]
Category: Panic! at the Disco
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canada, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Hockey, Gen, Politics, RPF
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-20
Updated: 2016-08-20
Packaged: 2018-08-09 21:13:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,335
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7817440
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rosevest/pseuds/rosevest
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jon has dreams of the ice underneath his blades and a hockey stick clenched firmly between his fists just like everyone else. Too bad no rep hockey coach actually wants him on their team.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Legal Cannabis, A Politically Active Goalie and Another Year Keeping Score

**Author's Note:**

> no chapter this week, because we've already posted it, but we thought you guys deserved a little something still! so here's jon's spinoff series! other characters may get oneshots and spinoff series depending on how much we end up putting in the actual fic! anyway, you know the drill, all french has hover text and canadian slang is in the notes at the bottom! we're working on a complete guide to canadian slang to put up eventually as well!

"Hey?" Spencer said, attracting Jon’s attention. 

"What?" Jon replied, leaning back against his locker between his Politics and American history classes. Jon was in the same classroom for both, but he didn't really feel the need to stay in there, so he'd just leave his stuff and follow Spencer around. 

"Did you see the way that Brendon was looking at Ryan in English?" Spencer asked him. 

"You mean the weird kind of sad puppy dog eyes and longing? Yeah," Jon responded, pulling his phone out of his pocket to text Cassie. 

"You don't think that-" Spencer started. 

"That Brendon's into Ryan?" Jon asked. Jon had certainly observed it too, the weird looks that Brendon was always giving Ryan and the way that Brendon would constantly stare at Ryan's ass. Sometimes, when the two would fight, Jon thought it seemed kind of like they were flirting. 

"Yeah," Spencer sighed. 

"Yeah, probably," Jon said, opening his conversation with Cassie. She had just sent him an "I love you", so he responded the same. He closed his conversation and pocketed his phone. 

Spencer pulled his philosophy binder out of his locker, then quickly checked his the time on his phone. Philosophy was just across the hall, Jon knew that. His American history class was practically right beside it. 

"Hey Spence?" Jon asked. He had a pretty ingenious idea, if he did say so himself. 

"What?" Spencer responded, looking up from his cell phone. 

"How much you wanna bet that they'll be a couple before Valentine's Day?" Jon asked. Spencer started laughing. 

"No, no! I'm completely serious. Cause I'll put twenty bucks on it," Jon interjected. 

"There's no fucking way that's gonna happen, I look forward to receiving twenty bucks for doing absolutely nothing," Spencer replied, holding out his hand for Jon to shake. Jon obliged, shaking Spencer's hand. He tried as hard as he could to ignore the strange feeling in the pit of his stomach as their skin made contact. 

"Jon, please tell me you're not selling Spencer any weird drugs," Ryan laughed behind them. His ears must've been burning, his timing was absolutely impeccable. Jon and Spencer chuckled with him. 

Spencer looked Jon in the eyes, as if to say "thank fuck he didn't catch us". The soft blue of Spencer's eyes reminded him of home in Boston. Of the ocean, of the colourful storefronts in the place he once lived. Jon didn't want Spencer's eyes to just be a distant memory, though. 

"Absolutely not," Jon grinned. "Only the best shit for my bros."

Spencer laughed again. Jon was glad that he had the ability to brighten Spencer's mood. 

"Move, fuckwads," Brendon grumbled, pushing through to his locker between Jon and Spencer. 

"Someone's pouty today," Ryan mocked. "What happened, daddy didn't buy you the 6s yet?"

"Shut the fuck up, Ross," Brendon snarled as he angrily pulled the lock off of his locker. 

Spencer looked and Jon with a raised eyebrow and mouthed "see?" Jon just shrugged and smiled back. 

"C'mon Jon, we're gonna be late for American history and Mr. Saporta's already on my ass after getting kicked off of the varsity bench," Ryan scowled, glaring at Brendon. 

"Need I remind you that you threw the first punch?" Brendon smirked. 

Ryan made a disgusted noise at Brendon then grabbed Jon's wrist and pulled him towards their history class. 

Jon waved goodbye to Spencer and Brendon. Jon absolutely noticed Brendon ogling Ryan's ass, either that, or he was just really interested in reading the word "Roots". Jon smirked, now he knew he'd win the bet for sure.

Later in the day, around last period, Jon smiled when he saw a notification from Spencer. He opened up his messages and read  _ hey wanna become a real canadian tonite _

Jon raised an eyebrow.  _ Lmao what  _ Jon replied. 

Jon received his response a few moments later.  _ Its the fucking election!!  _ The typing bubble was still up.  _ Come to my house after school and watch the coverage with me and ryro _

Jon frowned. He had a lot of homework that night, but Jon probably would’ve been willing to fail all of his classes if it meant winning Spencer’s friendship.

_ K  _ Jon replied. He immediately regretted his decision.  _ Can we edit our English project tho _ he added. 

Almost instantaneously, Spencer replied with  _ I, a true Canadian, will be watching the whole election but u, a filthy American, can do whatever u want _

Jon rolled his eyes and laughed a little under his breath. 

_ K guess I'm the only 1 getting a grade on this project then  _ Jon replied. 

_ Like u could ever let me and ryro get a 0  _ Spencer replied.  _ Brendon on the other hand deserves a 0 _

Jon laughed a little out loud again. Brendon as Lady MacBeth was a pretty awful sight. Not to mention that he and his MacBeth had tried to kill one another several times during the production of their fantastic film. Jon wondered why exactly Mr. Beckett had decided that he deserved the torture that came along with being put in a group project with the infamous enemies. 

_ Lol true _ he finally answered. 

_ My mom will pick us up @ the front  _ he received from Spencer.  _ I call shotgun!  _ Came in next. 

He locked his phone and shoved it in his pocket, but it vibrated again. The notification was from Ryan instead of Spencer. Jon raised an eyebrow, he had a feeling that Ryan hadn't really liked him. They never really talked outside of when Spencer was around, aside from the houseleague practice where Ryan had been obviously brooding. Jon swiped open his phone anyways. 

_ Hey can u pls tell spence I can't come tonight?? I texted him but he hasn't answered.  _ Oh. Was Ryan really that shitty of a friend? Jon had only known Spencer for a few months, but he knew how much the election meant to him. Spencer and Jon had done a politics assignment together a month before on the election, attempting to determine who had the greatest likelyhood to win control of Canada. Jon was amazed by how passionate Spencer was about politics. Spencer didn't even need to research for it, he had the whole thing done in his head. Every stat memorized, every one of the most likely outcomes planned out in his head. Surely Ryan had to know how much this election meant to Spencer, those two had been friends for God only knows how long. 

_ Yeah sure y tho _ Jon answered. 

_ I have a bunch of shit to do and I'm sick  _ Ryan texted back. Oh. Still, Jon had a bunch to do and he was going to Spencer's anyways. 

_ K _ he sent, not wanting to cause drama. He really wanted to be friends with both of the two, even if it meant that their infamous best friendship was starting to drift apart.

He made his way back to his locker and saw Ryan and Spencer arguing. 

“Just take the 10% late! It's French! You're from Quebec! You can finish it tomorrow morning or at my house tonight!” Jon heard Spencer exclaim. 

“It's not just me getting this mark, it's Urie too, and the last thing I want is another one of his fucking temper tantrums if he gets a bad mark!” Ryan replied. 

“Hey, um, I'm just gonna get to my locker if that's okay with you guys?” Jon chimed in, squeezing between the duo to begin twirling his combination lock. 

“Jon! Tell Ryan that he needs to come and watch the election with us!” Spencer demanded.

“Jon, could you please tell Spencer that he's being ridiculous? This is just the election!” Ryan interjected. 

“Just the election? Are you fucking kidding me? You know how long I've been waiting for this!” Spencer yelled. They were beginning to turn heads and Jon felt very uncomfortable as he threw his binders in the bottom of his locker. 

"Pareil que tout l’Canada! Quat’ ans!” Ryan angrily blurted out. Jon suppressed his laugh, but Spencer had no such courtesy. 

“You can't even insult me in English?” Spencer laughed. 

“Jon, please tell Spencer to leave me alone.”

“Jon, please tell Ryan that he's being a shitty friend!”

“What's going on here?” Brendon asked. No one answered him. “Wow, alright, if that's how it's gonna be, can I interrupt y’all huge hosers and get to my shit?” Brendon asked. Ryan and Spencer created space between themselves. Brendon opened up his locker and began to retrieve his things. 

“Listen you two, there's an easy solution. Ryan can just work on his project at your house,” Jon interrupted. 

“And deal with Spencer hooting and hollering like the leafs just won the cup every time the liberals win a constituency? No thank you,” Ryan replied. 

“Hey!” Spencer interjected. 

“Oh, that's right, the leafs can't win a fucking cup,” Ryan smirked. 

“You take that back!” Spencer shouted. 

“You know, for ‘best friends’, you two are being really shitty right now. Ryan, why don't you just come to Spencer's house when you're finished? And if you don't finish, that's fine. You could try that way though,” Jon offered.

“And get there how?” Ryan asked with a tinge of condescension in his voice. 

“My mom can probably drive you if you text me,” Spencer answered. 

“C’mon flip flops! I was enjoying having the target on someone else's back,” Brendon added. “You could've let them go at it like a married couple for at least five more minutes.”

“You wanna fucking go Urie? We can go,” Ryan threatened. 

“No, you can't,” Spencer said. Ryan stopped. Brendon made a whipping gesture and Jon laughed. 

“Are you good to go, Jon?” Spencer asked while swinging his backpack over his shoulder. 

“One sec,” Jon replied, pushing his English binder into his bag. 

“I gotta go,” Ryan said. “See you guys tonight, maybe.”

“Aren't you gonna kiss Spencer goodbye?” Brendon mocked as Ryan walked away from the group. Ryan extended his middle finger and continued walking. 

“See ya,” Brendon said, picking up his own bag and walking away. 

After Jon finished getting his things together, the two walked to the front door together, catching up on the events of their school days. Spencer pointed out his mom’s car, and the two of them entered. 

“Hi boys! I don't think I've met you before. Are you Jon?” Spencer’s mom asked. Jon nodded.

“Spencer's told me so much about you! It's so nice to finally meet you!” She smiled. If Jon was gay, he probably would've noticed the way that Spencer was blushing. But he wasn't. Instead he just admired the new soft pink shade that occupied Spencer's cheeks. 

“Nice to meet you too, Ms. Smith,” he smiled. 

“So how was your day? Did anything exciting happen?” She asked. Spencer immediately started telling a million stories about what had happened in his classes and how excited he was for the election tonight. Jon fixated on the sound of his voice. It was low pitched and smooth, very calming. Jon liked it. Spencer was so enthusiastic about absolutely everything he did, and it showed whenever he spoke. Jon thought that was so cool. 

“Jon? Jon?” Spencer's mother asked. 

“Sorry, what?” Jon snapped out of his little daze. Spencer giggled a little. 

“I said, are you looking forward to the election?” she asked. 

“Yeah, sure, I guess. I'm definitely not as excited as Spencer. I don't have citizenship yet, so I feel like it doesn't really affect me as much,” Jon answered. 

“Wait, I thought you had citizenship?” Spencer asked.

“Permanent residence,” Jon clarified. 

“Ha, you could totally marry me for your green card once we turn 18,” Spencer joked. 

“Same goes to you, if you ever want to move down south,” Jon offered. He was only half joking. 

“So you're from the states?” Spencer's mom chimed in, breaking up their plans for their future homosexual marriage. 

“Born and raised in Boston,” Jon said pridefully. 

“Oh, really? I can't hear the accent,” she said. 

“You should hear him when he's mad, he sounds like he just dumped tea into the harbour,” Spencer teased. 

“Are you planning on going back there for school?” She asked him. 

“If I get into Harvard,” Jon was only half joking. Spencer's eyes widened in surprise. Yeah, nobody expected the infamous pothead to get good grades. Jon had some of the best in their grade, he just didn't talk about it. 

“That's nice,” she smiled as they pulled into Spencer's driveway. Jon liked Spencer's house, it was quaint but not too small, covered in grey stone. 

The two walked through the house and down to the basement, where there was what looked to be a man cave down there, a giant flatscreen TV surrounded by countless pieces of Toronto Maple Leafs memorabilia. There was a pool table and air hockey in the room as well, all centered around a big, black leather chesterfield. Fuck, why didn't Spencer ever throw parties? This room would be sick to get sloshed in. 

“Make yourself at home, I'm gonna go and get some food and shit. Want anything?” Spencer asked. 

“Hot chocolate?” Jon asked. 

“God, don't you get sick of that in the timekeepers box?” Spencer laughed as he walked back up the stairs. 

Jon sat on the comfortable couch and flipped on CTV for the pre-election coverage, hoping that Spencer would be impressed that Jon knew where to look. 

He pulled out his phone to see message notifications from Cassie, Brendon and- Ryan? He opened up his phone to Cassie first. 

_ Love u babe!! I didn't see u when u left but I hope u have a nice day  _ Jon smiled upon reading it. He really loved his girlfriend. 

_ Love u too cas! I'm at Spencer's house if u need me  _ he sent, then sent a message with several green hearts. 

_ Have fun with the election tonight and good luck with spence if anyone other than Trudeau wins _ read the first message from Brendon.  _ Actually good luck no matter what _ read the second. Jon laughed a little under his breath and sent back  _ lol tnx _ . 

Finally, just as Spencer announced that he was coming back down and Jon should hide his porn and weed, Jon opened the message from Ryan.  _ Have fun with ur bf tonight _ ;) Jon dropped his phone onto his lap and locked it as quickly as he could. What the fuck was Ryan talking about? That was so weird. Probably meant for someone else. He'd answer that later, preferably when Spencer wasn't looking. 

Spencer put down a tray of random snack foods that also had two hot chocolates on it. Spencer handed one to Jon, then picked up the other for himself and sat dangerously close to Jon. 

“Hey! You knew what channel it'd be on! You're learning,” Spencer smiled, the scruffed Jon’s hair. Spencer's touch lingered for a moment, but disappeared when he took a long sip from the warm drink. 

“That's Tim Hortons, by the way. You know? Like the official drink of Canada,” Spencer teased. 

“Very funny, but I've lived here since I was 7. I know what Tims is,” Jon replied. Spencer grabbed a blanket from behind the two of them and wrapped it around his shoulders. He quickly realized that he was being rude to his guest, and took the left corner off of his shoulder and wrapped it around Jon's. Jon didn't understand what all of this sudden closeness was about, but he definitely didn't mind it. 

During the pre-election coverage, Jon attempted to find the good cuts within the many many takes that he had imported to his phone so that he could piece them together. Spencer was babbling in the background about how four more years of Harper would be four more years of hell, but Jon didn't really see it. They were all fucked anyways unless someone did something about the environment. Jon probably would've voted green if he had been an eighteen-year-old Canadian. 

Occasionally, during commercial breaks, Spencer would look over Jon’s shoulder and laugh at the video of Brendon in one of his sister’s dresses yelling at Ryan to kill Spencer. 

Jon was basically finished piecing together the videos once the real election coverage came on. 

“Jon, I swear to god, if you don't put your phone away while coverage is on, I'm dunking it in your hot chocolate,” Spencer threatened. Jon obliged and shoved his phone back into his pocket. As election results slowly came in, Spencer smiled turned to this wide, shit eating grin. 

“The liberals swept the fucking Atlantic! Do you know what that means?” Spencer exclaimed excitedly. 

“Uh, no?” Jon replied. 

“God, you don't pay attention in politics then. Usually whoever wins the Atlantic or the GTA wins the election,” Spencer explained. “My future husband is gonna be the Prime Minister!” 

Jon quirked his eyebrow at that last statement, it was probably an inside joke between him and Ryan. 

“Boys, I'm going out to vote! If you need anything, Spencer, you can call me,” Spencer's mom called down. 

“Why haven't you yet? God, go! And if you don't vote liberal I'm running away from home!” Spencer returned. Since Spencer's mom was gone, Jon had an idea. 

“Hey, how would you feel about me getting Cassie to bring some pot over here?” Jon asked. 

“What the fuck?” Spencer asked.

“Cmon! She makes really good brownies,” Jon pouted. 

“Ugh, fine,” Spencer grumbled. Spencer should've learned not to turn down free pot. 

Jon pulled out his cell phone and quickly texted Cassie  _ hey babe can u bring some brownies to spencers _

Since Spencer was distracted with determining whether or not the pretty boy running for the liberals would win the election or not, Jon opened the dreaded conversation with Ryan. 

_ Lol what _ he quickly texted him, then a notification popped up from Cassie. He opened that conversation to read  _ lol no I ran out after last Friday :( I can make u some tho _

_ It's ok _ Jon responded, before seeing another notif from Ryan. He opened the message fearfully, hoping it would just be a “sorry wrong person”. 

_ Lol we all know u have a huge crush on spence _ Jon felt insulted. He had a girlfriend who he loved very much, why would Ryan suggest such a thing? 

_ I'm straight and I love my girlfriend? Wtf bro _ he sent back. Jon put his phone back into his pocket. 

“So?” Spencer asked. 

“She doesn't have anything,” Jon frowned. 

“Damn,” Spencer said disinterestedly, then returned to staring at the screen. 

When the anchor announced “the liberals have officially won a majority government,” Spencer leaped out of his seat and started cheering. 

“Ha! Suck my ass Stephen Harper!” was amongst the many cheers of victory. Jon stood up to try to calm Spencer down, but Spencer just grabs his face and sloppily kissed his cheek, then pulled Jon into a hug and started crying. What the literal fuck. 

After Spencer calmed down, Jon asked Spencer if his mom could drive him home. 

“Are you not gonna stay for the rest?” Spencer frowned. 

“We have school in the morning,” Jon reminded. Spencer nodded in agreement. 

The car ride home was a little awkward, Spencer's mom constantly bombarding Jon with questions. When he returned to his house, he went straight to his room and crashed down onto his bed. He pulled out his phone to see that Ryan texted him again. 

_ I'm like 99% sure a str8 guy doesn't look at another str8 guys ass like that _

_ But what do I know  _

_ Anyways hope u guys had fun without me I wish I could've been there _

Jon thought about what Ryan had said. He traced his fingers over the space Spencer had kissed earlier. There was no trace of it anymore, no lipstick stain, no sticky feeling. It was different than when Cassie did the same thing, Jon could still feel the ghost of Spencer's stubble on his cheek. 

Ryan was wrong, Jon wasn't into Spencer. He just really wanted to be his friend. That was all. 

**Author's Note:**

> CTV- the major television broadcasting station in Canada  
> Hoser- an insult, equivalent of loser/idiot


End file.
